Your most stressful thoughts and how you deal with them

Stress: A word that modern society is well acquainted with. There are a lot of reasons why a person can be stressed but what if I told you that a key cause of your stress might not be what is actually happening in your life but how you are thinking about it?

It was Shakespeare who said, 'there is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.'

The way that we think about things can literally impact our experience of them. Consider that one persons unmanageable load of stress is another's invigorating challenge. We all have our own threshold for handling stress; some of us are hardier and seem to be able to do it all. Others need plenty of down time and personal space to recoup after a stressful ordeal. Taking into consideration your personal style and needs is an important way to manage stress.

Whether you're a hardy character or a sensitive one, we are all prone to that niggling, nagging voice that comes from between our ears; the voice in our head! Our thoughts can be our best friend or our biggest enemy and many of us talk to ourselves internally in a way that we would never talk to other people. Learning to recognise, acknowledge and finally change the way you think is central in managing stress.

Here are common negative thoughts that we all experience from time to time and how to manage them. Remember, the only one that can control your thoughts is you!

I can't do it

The most destructive word in the English language is 'can't.' We tell ourselves that we can't do something every day; 'I can't skydive – I'm too much of a chicken', 'I can't do that job; I'm too stupid', 'I can't make friends; nobody will like me.' What we tell ourselves is what we believe about ourselves. When we tell ourselves we can't do something, it reflects a lack of self-esteem and confidence. Eliminate can't from your vocabulary. Realise that we often say the word 'can't' when we are afraid. It's not an accurate reflection of our skill set.

It will never happen

Second to can't, 'never' is a bad word. When we tell ourselves never, we are abandoning hope. You might say to yourself, 'I'll never get that job', 'I'll never have that much money' or 'I'll never get the girl.' 'Never' is another word that you need to eliminate from your thought process. Instead, when you have a goal that you previously put into the 'never category' think about how you can bring it to fruition.

I'm not enough/I don't deserve it

Humans are conditioned to believe that we aren't enough. We aren't tall enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, curvy enough, rich enough, funny enough, smart enough, accomplished enough – the list is endless! Even people at their A-game don't feel 'enough.' Why? Because we are bombarded with imagery in the media, in music, in advertisements selling us an unattainable ideal which makes us feel useless. What does being enough really mean? You are always enough just as you are. There is always time to make improvements and to learn a new skill but you as you are, in this moment, are enough.  

I don't think I can...

I don't think is a little better than can't but it's still in the negative category. What if someone said to you 'go and ride that bike' and you said, 'I don't think I can.' You're assuming that you can't before you've even tried! Instead say, 'I think I can!' or even better still, 'I can!'

I can't compare

Our world is based on comparisons and competitions but no-one can be a winner all of the time so the system sets us up to fail. Stop comparing yourself to other people, especially unrealistic aspirations and expectations set by the media. Instead, compare yourself to you and compete only with yourself. Look to others for motivation and inspiration.

Nobody cares

This is a huge statement and it can be easy to feel that nothing that you do matters and that nobody is listening. The truth is, humans thrive on validation and it can hurt when we feel that we aren't getting it. Learn to be your own best friend. You'll attract people who love you for you.

The worst is going to happen!

Did you know that it takes approximately 7 positive thoughts to counteract 1 negative thought? And most of us are always thinking the worst. Perhaps it's a throwback to our volatile pasts where bad things seemed to always be around the corner. The truth is, most of the things we worry about don't happen and those that do don't tend to have even been a blip on our radar! Think the best of the world.

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Source : articlesbase.com