Parenting is arguably the most difficult job. To raise an entire human being, to inculcate within him morals and values, taking care of his emotional and physical upbringing...the list could just go on and on. Oh and there is hardly any other job that demands as much sacrifice as parenting. So much of compromise, so much of adjustment, so much of so much!! Yet, the experience of parenthood per se is a reward. Not only because the 'path to parenting' is a 'joyous' one (;P) , but also because it leads to a one-of-a-kind emotional edification. That pride, that love, that...contentment I should say, that a parent feels when he/she sees his/her child. That feeling, it is unmatched, it is unequalled.
But this article is not being written to acknowledge or worship parents, neither is it an attempt to glorify parenthood. Instead, the purpose of this article is to talk about successful parenting, a task towards the completion of which the article shall proceed forthwith.
Okay now on the onset itself I'd like to make one thing very clear – every, I repeat, every parent wants to see his/her child happy. Now since the ultimate goal of a parent is to see his/her child happy, the 'degree of happiness', if you'll allow the expression, of a child is a good, and perhaps complete criterion for the measure of his/her parents' success. Thus all throughout this article, I shall use this yardstick to define and measure parents' success, and in doing so I shall hope that you, my dear reader, won't condemn me.
Also, dear reader, bear with me for I shall play with the chronology of life. I shall first talk about successful parenting in the adolescent context, and then proceed to the childhood context. Since I haven't ventured into adulthood hor long enough, I shall not enter that context. Also, all throughout this article, when I say he, his etc. I mean he/she, his/her etc. Do not deem me sexist. If I use he/she and his/her everywhere, it'll simply look weird.
Now, golden rule, the more you exert yourself on an adolescent, the more you get of his pubescent rebellion. So never, never thrust yourself on an adolescent. Give him his privacy. Give him some independence. And when he does something wrong like smoking or drinking etc. , which he most certainly will, then talk it out, without, I repeat, without raising you voice or physically beating him. Remember "talking it out" is the best remedy for everything. This will never let a communication gap distance you from your child. Also, it will make it easier for your child to share things with you. It'll lead him to trust you as a confidant(e). So never, never shy away of talking things straight out. Oh and don't forget to take a sigh of relief. If your child does something wrong, then and only then is he perfectly normal.
Let me now come to a very important point. Let the child decide his career. Let him choose the subjects that he wants to study. Even if you feel that he won't make much money in his dream job. And never get influenced by what friends and family say. Remember the happiness yardstick? Yeah so a person will be happy if he is allowed to be his real self. Living a life dictated by others can't make even a Laughing Buddha happy. And believe you me, no amount of money can compensate for that smile on your child's face. So let smile win over salary. Now obviously if your child wants to be a terrorist you can't allow him to do that, can you? I mean you just can't let you child be anything that he wants to be, right?. So rephrasing and concluding, a good, successful parent is one who lets his child be the good man that he wants to be.
And now I shall come to cute little kids. And in doing so, I shall have to amend my yardstick a bit. Allow me my dear, patient reader, to introduce the concept of "sensible happiness", which by the way is applicable to this entire article inasmuch as all occurrences of the word "happiness" can be replaced, and rightly so, by the phrase "sensible happiness". Now I shall illustrate this concept with an example, for I believe in the 'nothing works better than an example' school of thought. Consider this cute little cuddly toddler for whom chocolates are the world. Does that strike a chord? Anyway, chocolates are the definition of bliss for him. Now if his parents give him a thousand chocolates to make him happy and be considered successful by me, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to break their hearts. Yes the chocolates sure would make the child happy, but is it a sensible enough decision? Does it really lead to the child's happiness, really being the keyword? Happiness that is not rooted in rationality is not happiness at all. It is in fact a harbinger of "unfortunate circumstances". Parents who say "yes sweetie" all the time to their kids can never be successful. In fact acceding to all his child's demands is the best way in which a parent can fail. A parent must learn to say "no" to his child. He must be able to punish him. As a parent you must make your child realise the worth of things. You must scold him for all the right reasons. Tell him stories of great, inspiring people. Stories can really work wonders with kids you know. Oh and very importantly, never let their creativity die. Always appreciate their talent. And most importantly do not impose your ideologies on them. Now this might sound a bit offensive, but I beseech you dear reader, please give it a rational thought. Just because you believe in a particular faith, or God himself, does not mean that your child must believe in them too. Tell them about God, but then also tell them about the atheist way of life. Let the child develop his own belief system. Do not condition him.
In the end I'd simply like to say that both the mother and the father should work together in the upbringing of the child. Spend quality family time together. Remember there isn't a more blissful thing than parenthood. So if you are a parent, make the most of it :)
Source : articlesbase.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment