Perfectionism gets a bad rap these days. Let's take a closer look and discover what is good about it—that's the part we want to keep even as we let go of painful, self-limiting perfectionism that gets in our way.
Keeping in mind that people do what works for them. Your friend's perfectionism is working for them emotionally, even though it might look self-destructive to you. It's not necessarily logical, but Inside your friend's brain, it makes sense.
That's true for perfectionism too.
The first hidden gift is that perfectionism comes from a desire for excellence. Striving to be perfect, or to perfect yourself, can motivate you to put in more effort, to continue to improve your skills or performance.
If you have these kinds of standards, you may identify as a perfectionist, but think to yourself "This makes sense for me to keep these high standards and strive for perfection. This works for me because it makes me study, work, or practice harder" This is so strong we can even call it a vow of perfection. Why would you want to give that up?
Striving for excellence, continuing to develop your skills and talents, is wonderful. Don't give that up! Our world would be so much poorer without excellent teachers, musicians, athletes, business people, writers, scientists.
The problem is when the vow is absolute and rigid–t's either excellence or total failure. What happens when we make mistakes, or injure ourselves, or something out of our control stops us? What if we fall short of our high standard? We can be absolutely ruthless with ourselves, and refuse to forgive. We can hold these seeming failures against ourselves for years and years. Ironically that can keep you locked into the failure since you are focusing on avoiding it. Pass-fail is a very tough way to grade yourself.
Edison took 1000 tries to come up with a light bulb that worked and could be produced commercially. What if he judged himself as a failure and gave up after a few tries?
I invite you to try something new. Could you forgive yourself , and learn from your imperfections and so-called failures. If you have a financial or business failure, a disappointment or betrayal, that you just can't get over, that you suspect might be stopping you, I've got some specific processes from Tapping into Wealth to free you to try again—and succeed. And love yourself regardless of the outcome.
Source : articlesbase.com
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